I find it hard to understand people that base their lives on significant others. A part of any relationship is considering the other person in your decisions, but to base your life solely around someone else’s life is something I just cannot understand.
For example, I know a couple who have been dating for a long time. She originally had not planned on going to university but applied because her boyfriend did and went to the same school. After they both graduated, she chose a waitress job as he reapplied to medical school and “figured out his life”. She said she did not want to chose a job that was more established as they waited for his results. He got in, and now she is moving with him with no job or plan to follow him to school. This is absolutely insane to me. It would be more comprehensible to me if they were married. Or married with kids. But to be in a long term relationship? I just don’t get it.
I love J with all my heart. But it would never work if he were to ask me to give up my career for him or vise versa. I am also sure that if I had no ambition and wanted to follow him around like a puppy dog, he would rightly have no desire to be with me. I would never choose to rely completely on someone for financial dependence with no earning capability myself. Maybe it was the way I was raised. Maybe it’s something else. Am I being too harsh?
Nope, I think you’re entirely practical and reasonable. It’s super-okay to be goal-driven and to know what you want and to live your life for YOU. And you’re lucky to have J, who is able to respect that desire and find his own way in life so you can both be independent, together.
| Posted 7 months ago